


Internalize

by mrstaemin (TheTroninator)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTroninator/pseuds/mrstaemin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just Gavin being cute and coming to terms with some stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internalize

Gavin stared into the mirror in the bathroom, studying his face. His eyes: blueish greenish greyish, all mixed up and confused, no one color claiming dominance. How appropriate. His nose: big, funny, embarrassing. Right. His lips: constantly curled like a joke was never far from his ears. (Maybe he was the joke after all?) His chin: scruffy, unshaven, unkempt. He couldn’t be taken seriously by anyone, not even himself. Of course he never tried.  
But now, as he gazed at himself, he wanted to understand himself. He needed to understand what was happening inside him and then kill it. “You cannot.” He looked firmly into his own eyes. “Stop it.” Like it would be that easy. 

“Gavin, are you ready to go?” Geoff shouted from their kitchen. 

Gavin took one last look at himself, flattened some flyaway hairs, and opened the bathroom door. “I’m coming,” he replied in his thick British accent.

“Alright, buddy, let’s hurry.” Geoff took a look at his housemate. He looked down in the mouth to say the least--his hair flat, his eyes downcast, his lips twisted almost ironically. 

“You alright, Gav?” Geoff asked sentimentally. 

Gavin shrugged. “I’m okay, boss.” 

Geoff draped an arm around Gavin’s shoulder as they walked out to the car to head off to work. 

Gavin stayed quiet during the ride. He was afraid to open his mouth and spill out his unsettled guts to his boss/friend. He needed to save himself the embarrassment. He was used to being laughed at, but to him, this was no laughing matter. This needed to be put out like a fire, crumpled up and thrown away like paper, locked away in a steel case never to see the light of day. It had to be forgotten. It had to be killed. No easy task when he had to look at the instigator every day. Gavin sighed when he realized that the fire would still probably be burning by the end of the day.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Gavin was in no rush to get out of the car. “Go on in, Geoff. I’ll be along in just a minute.” 

Geoff shrugged and did as Gavin asked. 

Gavin reclined in his seat, all the way back, closed his eyes, and ran his fingers through his hair. “No, no, no, no…” he mumbled. 

His mutterings were halted when he heard a finger tapping on his window. After a quick glance up, Gavin immediately regretted opening his eyes. There he was. Michael Jones. 

Smiling, waving, mouthing something that looked like, ‘hi Gav!’

Gavin returned a weak smile, popping his seat back up, opening the door. “Good morning,” Gavin said as cheerfully as his discomfort would allow, feeling the fire licking his insides and shooting into his throat. Kill me, he thought. 

“You doing okay, buddy?” Michael asked, throwing an arm around Gavin’s tiny waist. “You seem a little off?”

“I’m—I’m okay,” Gavin stuttered. “Just a little sleepy.” 

Michael nodded understandingly. “You could probably take a nap at your desk and Geoff would never even notice,” Michael joked. “He faces the other way and I won’t rat you out. Can’t count on Ray, though.”

Gavin chuckled, hoping for a chance to escape. 

They made it into the building and Gavin squirmed out of Michael’s arm. “I’m going to the loo,” Gavin quickly explained. “See ya in the office.”

Michael watched as Gavin weaved in and out of other people and ducked into the restroom. 

Hidden in one of the stalls, Gavin placed his head in his hands. I like him, he confessed to himself for the first time. The fire inside him flared up. He thought for a moment he’d be sick. But then a calm washed over him. I’ve not died. I can do this. Gavin got up and splashed his face with water in the sink. 

He walked out of the bathroom into the hallway, seeing Michael standing there waiting for him. “You sure you’re alright?” Michael questioned. 

Gavin’s lips began curling again, his eyes twinkling with the promise of mischief. “Yeah, I’m tippity toppers.”


End file.
